Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
