Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
