I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
