Im at strip club and am horny
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
