somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I understand Curling. That high.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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