Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
