I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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