on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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