I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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