Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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