you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
