they need to just BURY HIM!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
