I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
