i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Randomize
