Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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