Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
