At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
