please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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