I cannot find my penis.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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