No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize