At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
