you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
