After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
