I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
