PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
