you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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