Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
