Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
