seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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