Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
