He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we made out on top of his cat.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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