I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
