My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
