when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
