He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
