WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can you bring me the toilet please
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
