i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
