whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
