woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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