tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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