3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
