Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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