I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize