im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
