I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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