No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
