sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
