last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
