honey bunches of taint.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
