I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
