ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
operation harelip BJ is a go
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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