Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
