Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
