I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
