Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
