may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
