you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
